Monday, September 28, 2009

Male Influences

So I was shopping at Wal-Mart yesterday with Bobby. He was happy as usual and talking up a storm. Because I couldn't help myself from laughing, he just kept saying the same 2 things over and over:

1) "Boutros Boutros-Ghali" THANKS, Dad. I don't know what the conversation was, or why my dad was talking to Bobby about this Egyptian diplomat, but when I picked him up on Friday, this is what he learned from PapPap.

2) "It's a Man's World" THANKS, Rob. Twice a month, I have to go to meetings at night for work. I get home, have dinner, play with Bobby, give him a tubby, get him ready for bed and then leave him in Rob's capable hands. Rob tells Bobby they are having "Man's night" then they sing "It's a Man's World"... paying homage to the godfather of soul, James Brown:

ahhh, Men.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Non-Political G-20 Observations and Ramblings

So the G-20 is here. Protesters have been less in number than anticipated-which is a good thing. Although I think the local media would rather have the worst case scenario to report on. They have been gearing up for this for months.

The local news has had their "continuing live team coverage". They have been covering the G-20 like they cover "severe weather": if you watch the local news regularly, you will see that this city loves the threat of torrential downpours and possible flooding as well as blizzard-like snowfalls. Basically anything to show off all the "Stormtracker" and "Live Pinpoint Doppler" gadgety doodads and to get people to stock up on milk, bread and toilet paper.

The G-20 has brought that same newsy-enthusiasm for possible anarchist-led protests and violent run-ins with police. Now on our news instead of weather maps, we see digital maps of our city with restriction sites:
It was also only a matter of time before someone thought to use the City's beloved Steelers and our obsession with all things Steelers related to get some publicity for their cause:
Oxfam activists staged a mock football game to bring attention to world poverty. Unfortunately, their message was somewhat lost because as soon as Yinzers see a football game with the black and gold involved, they just start waving terrible towels and yelling things like "Cleveland Sucks" and "Here We Go Steelers!" In the 'Burgh, I imagine people were really just watching this game thinking "Hey, I bet that Singh dude won't miss two field goals like Jeff Reed did..."

Finally, in the midst of the news last night, a strange thing happened. Protesters and police forces were forgotten. For a brief fleeting moment, it was like we were on the red carpet at the Oscars. The President and First Lady arrived at Phipps Conservatory for the G-20 Welcome Dinner. Sally Wiggin broke from the serious news journalism to squeal like a school girl over Michelle Obama's outfit:"Oh, she must have been to Phipps before...she clearly chose her outfit because of the humidity inside there. Just lovely."

As I look at that picture, I say to myself, Self: You need an appointed umbrella holder!! How cool is that?
Then I wonder to myself: How did he get that job? Is there an umbrella-skills competition among the troops? Can he twirl the umbrella? Does it have a push button open and close feature? Do you think he sings that Rihanna song to Michelle: "Under my umbrella ella ella eh eh eh". Cause that would totally rock.

I imagine at some point he called home and said, "Mom! Guess what, I won't have to do another tour in Iraq after all. I won the 'Brella Bout in my unit! My umbrella skillz are the shiz nit." And then I wonder why he is talking like a west coast rapper. Which brings me to my next point.

It was reported that during the illegally planned protest march yesterday the Anarchists
"clogged streets, banged on drums and chanted":

"Ain't no power like the power of the people, 'cause the power of the people don't stop."

Come On! How can I respect you and your protest rights when you just ripoff Coolio like that?

"Ain't no party like a west coast party 'Cause a west coast party don't stop"
-Coolio, 1-2-3-4 (Sumpin' New)...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Pray Big For This Little Child

Kelly Frey, a local news anchor here in Pittsburgh was featured in the newspaper regarding her difficult pregnancy with her first child, diagnosed with holoprosencephaly. It was a touching story and really showed the love that these first-time parents have for their child and the difficult journey they were on.

Their son, Bennett Ryan, was born this week. They had a photographer present to document the delivery as they were not sure how long, or if, their baby would survive. You can see the beautiful pictures here and read the touching and miraculous birth of this special boy. Baby Bennett is now at Children's Hospital. Please keep him and his family in your prayers. Miracles happen every day. You just have to believe.

Monday, September 14, 2009

I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair. -Hillary Clinton

"Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,Streaming, flaxen, waxen"
-"Hair" the Musical.

I have an on-going war with my hair. And I'm losing. I have pretty straight, fine but heavy hair. No body. No volume. No Oomph. Just straight, bleh hair.
I have colored, highlighted, lowlighted, permed, and body waved my hair trying to force my non cooperative hair into submission. I have had super short styles, mid-length styles and long tresses. I have tried bangs, no bangs, layers, side parts, middle parts and no parts. I have used curling irons, flat irons, hot rollers, blow dryers, blow dryers with diffusers and nothing seems to give me that elusive perfect coif.

I recently saw a commercial for Herbal Essences new product line "Tousle Me Softly".

and the model that had that perfect messy but styled look:

So, I decided to try these products. I got the shampoo, conditioner and spray gel. I was set. I was going to wash, rinse and repeat my way to the ultimate low-maintenance, high impact hairstyle...My hair was going to raise the white flag. Victory would be mine.

Or not. As good old P.T. Barnum said, "There's a sucker born every minute."

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Let the Indocrination Begin...

I have now successfully taught Bobby that this:

and this:

translates to: "GO IRISH".

Here is my future "Domer", Class of 2029

"I'm gonna marry a SMC chick like my mommy and Aunt Erin!"

Pittsburgh Welcomes the World...Now Get the Hell Out!

For those of you not from the greater Pittsburgh area, The G-20 Summit is heading to the Steel City, the City of Champions.

In honor of this prestigious event, the city is welcoming the world leaders and showing our economic progress by shutting down. Closing up Shop. Hanging up the proverbial "Will Return" sign:

Schools in the city are shut down. Businesses are closing, the courts are shutting down. It's gotten so bad that the Pittsburgh International Airport had to issue a press release that they were NOT closing. Public transportation into the city will be limited. Parking garages will not be open for the regular commuter traffic...blah blah blah. In other words, STAY HOME BURGHERS!

Even though I no longer work in the Greater Pittsburgh area, hell I don't even work in Allegheny County anymore, I think I should do my civic duty and stay home. In my pajamas. All day.