Friday, September 25, 2009

Non-Political G-20 Observations and Ramblings

So the G-20 is here. Protesters have been less in number than anticipated-which is a good thing. Although I think the local media would rather have the worst case scenario to report on. They have been gearing up for this for months.

The local news has had their "continuing live team coverage". They have been covering the G-20 like they cover "severe weather": if you watch the local news regularly, you will see that this city loves the threat of torrential downpours and possible flooding as well as blizzard-like snowfalls. Basically anything to show off all the "Stormtracker" and "Live Pinpoint Doppler" gadgety doodads and to get people to stock up on milk, bread and toilet paper.

The G-20 has brought that same newsy-enthusiasm for possible anarchist-led protests and violent run-ins with police. Now on our news instead of weather maps, we see digital maps of our city with restriction sites:
It was also only a matter of time before someone thought to use the City's beloved Steelers and our obsession with all things Steelers related to get some publicity for their cause:
Oxfam activists staged a mock football game to bring attention to world poverty. Unfortunately, their message was somewhat lost because as soon as Yinzers see a football game with the black and gold involved, they just start waving terrible towels and yelling things like "Cleveland Sucks" and "Here We Go Steelers!" In the 'Burgh, I imagine people were really just watching this game thinking "Hey, I bet that Singh dude won't miss two field goals like Jeff Reed did..."

Finally, in the midst of the news last night, a strange thing happened. Protesters and police forces were forgotten. For a brief fleeting moment, it was like we were on the red carpet at the Oscars. The President and First Lady arrived at Phipps Conservatory for the G-20 Welcome Dinner. Sally Wiggin broke from the serious news journalism to squeal like a school girl over Michelle Obama's outfit:"Oh, she must have been to Phipps before...she clearly chose her outfit because of the humidity inside there. Just lovely."

As I look at that picture, I say to myself, Self: You need an appointed umbrella holder!! How cool is that?
Then I wonder to myself: How did he get that job? Is there an umbrella-skills competition among the troops? Can he twirl the umbrella? Does it have a push button open and close feature? Do you think he sings that Rihanna song to Michelle: "Under my umbrella ella ella eh eh eh". Cause that would totally rock.

I imagine at some point he called home and said, "Mom! Guess what, I won't have to do another tour in Iraq after all. I won the 'Brella Bout in my unit! My umbrella skillz are the shiz nit." And then I wonder why he is talking like a west coast rapper. Which brings me to my next point.

It was reported that during the illegally planned protest march yesterday the Anarchists
"clogged streets, banged on drums and chanted":

"Ain't no power like the power of the people, 'cause the power of the people don't stop."

Come On! How can I respect you and your protest rights when you just ripoff Coolio like that?

"Ain't no party like a west coast party 'Cause a west coast party don't stop"
-Coolio, 1-2-3-4 (Sumpin' New)...

No comments: