Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Contract With Myself

At exactly 12:34 p.m. tomorrow, May 21, 2009, I will officially be a mother for 2 whole years! Unfortunately, in spite of giving birth 731 days ago (2008 was a leap year), I still maintain a little way too much "baby weight". In the past 2 years I have done Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers (twice), bought a Wii Fit, started and quit Body for Life, Fit Yummy Mummy, the Carb Addicts diet and a number of other weight loss plans.

I don't know why I can't get back on's like there is a broken switch in my brain. I previously did Jenny Craig over 10 years ago and I lost 65lbs. and kept it off! I was fully self-motivated. I ate healthy, I exercised, I weighed myself regularly to make sure I could step things up if the number on the scale started to creep upwards...

I put on some weight during the summer of 2001, when I was on Semester at Sea. Living on a cruise ship with a Greek staff cooking Greek food and no feasible to way to exercise will tend to lead to some weight gain. But I got right back on track after coming home. I was at my all-time lowest weight in October 2002, just in time for my 10 year high school reunion. Coincidentally, I met Rob the next month. I stayed about the same (give or take 5 lbs) up until about the time I got pregnant. Now, I did not go crazy "eating for 2" but I put on a healthy amount of pregnancy weight.

I lost about 20lbs. fairly easily after giving birth (7lbs. 4oz. being all-Bobby)...but then I just hit a wall. Nothing I did seemed to matter. I was breastfeeding and hoped that would help, but it didn't. I think I've lost and gained the same 15lbs. over and over during the past 2 years. I have never gotten back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, of which I have a closet full.

I have never liked exercising, I've only done it because I knew I should. Now, between work, spending time with Bobby (and Rob) and doing stuff around the house, if anything needs cut from my schedule, you can bet it's going to be exercise.

Recently, my childhood neighbor started blogging about his weight loss journey here. He is married with 4 boys under the age of 4. I have found some inspiration in his story. He lost weight to get healthy and be active with his kids. He found the time in spite of everything going on in his life. Maybe my prior motivations just won't work anymore. The last time I lost any considerable amount of weight I was single and definitely ready to mingle...

Now, maybe I have to picture a healthier (not just thinner) me, running around the park with Bobby and not being so sluggish and tired. Perhaps I should lose weight to be a better mom to Bobby. Period.

On this the eve of Bobby's 2nd birthday, I am going to commit to living a healthier life. I'm not going to do another "diet" but I'm going to make healthier food choices. I am going to commit to exercise not focusing on weight loss, but on being active and healthy. I need to set a good example for my little boy and I want to be able to fully participate in his life!


Irishembi said...

Good for you! I'm slogging along in the trenches right there with ya! Thirty Eight pounds total gone so far, and too many to think about left to go.
Why couldn't we have been born one of those people that think exercise is FUN??!!!

Colleen said...

yea, the murray genes do not recognize exercise as fun!

Anonymous said...

You can do it! Make the commitment and make it happen.

Let me know how I can help.


Dani said...

#1 Happy Early Birthday to Bobby.

#2 I hear ya. My body is not the same since I had Fiona. One thing that has been workign for me (and feel free to ignore my suggestion) is dancing with Fiona. I have a hard time finding time to work out without her so I just do something with her.

I'm sure you can do anything you set your mind to.