Monday, August 25, 2008

What a Hoot!

I went downstairs to Rob's "man cave" last night to relax and spend some time with him before collapsing in bed. Rob put the t.v. on and immediately decided to check FSN-Pittsburgh, because surely, at this time of year, there is bound to be some Steelers programming...
Lo and behold, to our wonder and amazement, we were treated to coverage of the 2008 Miss Hooters International Bikini Pageant. As the girls strutted across the stage in their string bikinis and oiled-up fake tans, the graphics on the screen showed their measurements (example: 34-22-30). Here's a snippet of the conversation that followed:
Rob: What do the measurements refer to?
Me: Bust, waist and hips.
Rob: Why isn't there a cup size listed?
Me: That is not usually inclu...
Rob: WHOA! No need to list a cup size for that!
During this exchange, I was multi-tasking trying to think of my response should Rob ask me what my measurements are--for comparison purposes--What numbers would sound reasonably plausible but certainly better than the real thing? or Should I just say, "I don't know"? Thankfully, he was so preoccupied with what was on the screen that this was never an issue.

We of course then proceeded to critique these young women as if we ourselves are physically flawless*. We were exceptionally impressive with our keen eyes and uncanny ability to spot fake vs. real.

I must admit however, that we were both extremely proud of the Pittsburgh Hooters girl--she didn't just walk across the stage and force a smile while sucking her abs in. Oh no. Pittsburgh-Hooter girl did a little booty shake with her thang. Unfortunately, her rump-shaking wasn't enough to bring the glory back to the City of Champions.

Sara Hoots (no, not kidding) from the San Antonio area was crowned Miss Hooters International for 2008.

*Disclaimer: If I managed to look like any of these women, for even a second of my life, you better believe I'd be in a bikini flaunting myself!!!!!

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